The Illusion of Fear

Just like most negative emotions, fear is a waste of productive time and energy. Besides the primal need for staying safe, fear has little space in human lives. However, the definition of safe keeps evolving. My guess is that just like cortisol, fear is addictive; our brain loves it because it forces our conscious to go in self-conservation mode.

My hypothesis is that most of fear is imagined and not real. We aren’t really unsafe, not even psychologically at most times. The reason I believe we imagine the worst is because we aren’t feeling safe about something else; mostly socially.

Our relationships with our near and dear ones, with friends, with people at a higher social level and most importantly our self-image about where we belong in the social scheme of things and how likely are we to get displaced from that stature. Why do we care so much about social safety? Because we have grown up to not feel good or bad about ourselves in absolute but in reference to the society and sometimes, how the society would see us.

Is it valid? Sometimes. In a lot of societies (especially eastern world), society and individual aren’t separated but are two strands of the same fabric.

Is it required? Maybe. We are deeply social beings and see ourselves constantly not in isolation but as part of it. However, we need to grow into a more individualistic self-image.

How do you get out of this pit?

No one is going to tell you that you are safe, except you yourself. So tell yourself. And there are different ways to do that:

• Buy flowers for yourself / loved ones; maintain a clean and aesthetic, well-arranged house (albeit with lesser things): Helps you signify abundance and thus financial safety.
• Journal the good things people have ever spoken about you: compliments at work, compliments about your health, your looks, pretty much anything. Far too often, we allow negative thoughts to occupy our minds fully. And whenever you feel low, just revisit these
• Train your brain to count your blessings every time you feel you don’t possess something; especially social stature
• Do what it takes to be physically fit. Workouts, sports, walks, anything. Physical effort helps release endorphins that help us have a better mood and thus better self-image. Also, being physically fit helps us perceive a better social standing for ourselves at a primal level
• And most importantly, give. Give time, give energy and effort, give respect. Giving is an immensely positive action that helps us elevate our own self-image that helps us with our perceived self image
• Lastly, remind yourself frequently and often — Nobody is thinking about you.

Found this really interesting image on social media earlier today —